Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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