I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
