first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
