Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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