so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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