David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I lost the right to judge tonight
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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