Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
