But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
