ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he thought i was a dude.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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