What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
