I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
