Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You don't make any sense
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