Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
