I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
