I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
