Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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