We won't sleep together?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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