Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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