i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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