He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
