no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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