i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
