It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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