..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
