my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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