did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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