doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
