i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
