I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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