their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
