Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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