I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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