I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Did you pee in the oven last night??
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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