I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
