me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
