If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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