is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
