Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
