Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
