How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You were trust falling into bushes
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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