YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
