In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
