im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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