He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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