That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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