bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
