The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
