Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
