That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
