i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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