I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
