We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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